2009

It’s almost the New Year. Almost 2009. Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday that my baby girl and baby boy were born. 2009 means Jenalyn is only one more year away from starting school. I’m not ready for that – but won’t allow myself to think about that yet!

The New Year is a time when people choose to make resolutions. For some reason, the turn of a new year sparks a desire in people to change their lives and set goals for the next year. More often than not these goals are not accomplished. Why? Maybe it’s the hype of making resolutions and not a true desire for the change. That’s not to say all resolutions fail, but I can honestly say none of mine have ever lasted past the first 3 weeks! I choose to look at things differently.

This year, New Years is different for me. My life has already changed drastically. I don’t think I need to make any resolutions beyond living day by day and finding the positive in every situation. To me, resolutions can be made any day of the year, not just January 1. But this year, January 1 is more than a start of a new year. It’s a start of a different life. It’s the start of figuring out who I am and what I want in life. It’s the start of doing things on my own. It’s the start of developing strength. It’s the start of finding a happiness, peace and contentment I long for. It’s a time to embrace the present and look to the future, day by day. It’s a time to tell those around me that I love them. It’s a time to tell myself I love me. It’s a time to realize the blessings in my life. It’s a time to realize there are struggles but that I can gain the strength to move through them.

I wish all of my friends and family all the best in the New Year. I pray for you to feel love and to love. I pray for you to feel true happiness – not just a outward smile, but that your heart is smiling. I pray for you to find peace in all aspects of your life. Don’t get caught up in making resolutions to lose weight or to save more money or to take a trip. Think about what really matters in life and resolve to embrace those things. That is where you will find true happiness and love and peace.

Life's A Dance

For some people scents or sights can transfer a person back to another time in their life. They can bring back memories of a good time or a bad time. Remind them of where the have come from and where they are going.

Music does this for me. Certain songs and sounds can instantly send my mind back to a particular time. It can feel so real, to the point that I can even smell those surroundings, hear what was going on around me, and feel almost as deeply if not as deeply as I did in that moment. This is a true blessing and a gift to me. But at times is something I wish I didn’t have the ability to experience. There are some times in life I’d rather forget but yet know that without those experiences, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So I choose to be thankful for the gift and learn from the experiences and memories.

Those that have read this blog or know me know how important music is to me. How I don’t just listen to the music, I read the lyrics, feel the lyrics, and can interpret them into my life. I know that each song writer has their own story behind the lyrics but so many times I feel like they are writing about my life – about my struggles – about the good things I’m experiencing and feeling. I guess that’s the most amazing thing about music and why so many people love it as much as I do. How it can be such a comfort to those with a broken heart, to those struggling with something, to those who just want to celebrate, and for any other reason.

Because of how deeply music and lyrics touch me I often spend a good portion of worship time at church in tears. I can connect to the music and more often than not those who have written the songs (both religious and secular) have found a way to say what I long to say, in a much better way.

I’m known to send songs to friends or a note saying, “hey you have to listen to this song…”. When I send that note, it’s very rare that I’m sending it because I just like the song. It’s because the lyrics mean something special to me, that I think that friend would relate to the lyrics, or simply that the song lyrics/melody made me think of the friend immediately. I know not everyone connects the same way with music as I do but find this is the best way for me to sometimes let people know I’m thinking about them and care about them.

Some of the songs that hold a special place in my heart and always transport me to another place in mind and heart, more times than not bringing tears to my eyes are listed below. (And apparently I have country-music loving kids!)

Amazing Grace: As much as this is a beautiful song, I always associate it with a “funeral song”. Every funeral I went to growing up had this song played at it. I have a very hard time hearing the song for what it is and what it says without associating it in this way and thinking of those who have passed away – bringing tears to my eyes.

How Great Thou Art: same as above. I have vowed that these two songs will NOT be played at my funeral.

Old Rugged Cross: I remember my mom and I standing at the sink washing and drying dishes singing this song growing up.

Roll With Me – Montgomery Gentry: This is a new song on the radio right now. I heard it and instantly loved it. Jenalyn has an incredible love of music and always asks to hear this song too. Everytime it’s on the radio she sings it word for word at the top of her lungs with me. It came on the radio on Sunday on the way to the farm – so each time I hear it right now, reminds me of how much I miss her (and Tarren).

She’s A Butterfly – Martina McBride: This was the only song that would stop Jenalyn from crying as I rocked her to sleep for months as a baby. As much as I wished those days would hurry and pass, I would love to have the days back when I could just hold her, have her cuddle up to me and hold my baby girl.

Didn’t Even See The Dust “Shotgun” – Paul Brandt: This is the ONLY song that when Tarren gets worked up calms him right down, puts a smile on his face, and then he starts dancing.

This is only a short list – there are many more songs that I could name, but will keep those to myself for now and share them another time.

So sit back, turn on your favourite song, close your eyes, and let the music take hold of you. Let the words speak to you. Let your heart dance with the melody. Remember where you have come from and where you are going.

Life is a dance.